Figurative language from Frank Bruni

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Even though the Brexit vote is no laughing matter, columnist Frank Bruni managed to get some laughs and a clever extended metaphor out of it…

The results of the recent Brexit vote have made me sad. A common European market gave the British economy plenty of room to grow. And, for the millions of EU residents currently living and working in Britain, an end to this relationship is going to mean massive hardship. (To say nothing of the Brits living abroad, in warmer places such as Spain.)

But trust Frank Bruni to put an amusing spin on the situation. In a very funny New York Times column, headlined A Bachelor Named Britain, Looking for Love, Bruni presents an extended metaphor comparing an entire country to a lonely single.

Here is part of what he writes:

It has been forever since Britain was single, and there will be many lonesome and disorienting nights ahead.

Maybe we should fix it up with Switzerland.

Not immediately, of course. The divorce from the European Union was just announced. The paperwork hasn’t been filed. There could be a loss of nerve, a relaxing of conjugal rules, tulips from Holland, chocolates from Belgium. Greece and Portugal could promise to stop leaving dirty dishes in the sink, Germany to quit hogging the remote.

But as things stand now, Britain will soon stand apart, and we all know how that goes: exhilaration, followed by panic, leading to an age-inappropriate Tinder account. Oh, look, here’s Iceland, flashing its most voluptuous volcanoes. Nah, too stony and lugubrious, and you can listen to only so much Björk.

Go read the whole column. It’s very funny and, at the end, even includes a hat tip to my native country, Canada.