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Perfectionism in writing, which often leads to overwhelming guilt, is only a destructive force — not a helpful one…
Are you ever haunted by the quality of your writing?
Not just the occasional “I-could-have-done-better” thought (we all have those), but a deeper, more consuming guilt?
You know the feeling…
- You had a terrific idea for an imaginative blog post, but when you finally wrote it, you were disappointed — maybe even ashamed — because it wasn’t as interesting as you’d expected it to be.
- You were working on a chapter for your book, and you felt another expert would have done a much better job with the same material.
- You were finishing a chapter for your thesis or dissertation, and you had the sinking feeling your supervisor was going to make you do more research because you didn’t defend your findings forcefully enough.
This guilt often stems from a single source: perfectionism.
We want to be perfect because that seems so much more impressive than being middling, or worse, average.
The comparison trap makes the guilt even worse. Looking at others who are more successful or more prolific only deepens our sense of inadequacy.
Then the unwelcome guests truly arrive: self-doubt, imposter syndrome, creative blocks and procrastination. A vicious cycle begins. Guilt triggers heightened self-criticism, feeding more dissatisfaction, which breeds more guilt. And then distorted focus comes into play. We fixate on perceived flaws in our work rather than recognizing its strengths.
So how do you break free? Here are five tips:
1-Make sure your goals are utterly realistic
Make your goals so small you can virtually guarantee success. Writing for just five minutes a day is not too “easy” or too small a goal for beginning writers (and even for some old pros who’ve hit a block or hard spot). What’s important is to write every day.
By showing up reliably, day after day, you will accumulate more words and, by virtue of practice, become a better writer. Yes, it’s really that simple.
2-Embrace process over product
If you have a big project — like a book or a dissertation — you probably can’t get your mind off the prize — the finished work. But if you’re tied in knots with guilt, try emphasizing the act of writing instead. Ask yourself:
- What am I learning when I write today?
- What makes writing easier or harder for me?
- How can I get myself more interested in the content of my writing?
Forget what you’re trying to accomplish long-term and, instead, just focus on what you’re doing right now.
3-Separate writing from editing
Too many writers try to write and edit at the same time, failing to understand this makes them worse writers and editors.
You’re a worse writer because your brain has clicked into “critical” gear, blocking creativity.
You’re a worse editor because you’re editing too soon, without having gained the distance and perspective you need to be an effective editor.
Also, people who multitask end up making more mistakes and feeling more stressed than those who do only one task at a time. If you’ve developed the habit of editing while writing, here’s how to break it.
4-Cultivate a growth mindset
The best step you can take as a writer is to see challenges as opportunities for learning and improvement rather than as indicators of failure. Psychologist Carol Dweck is a leading proponent of this philosophy, which she calls a growth mindset.
People who value a growth mindset:
- Believe abilities can be developed
- Embrace challenges
- Seek constructive feedback
- View effort as essential for growth
- See obstacles as opportunities
- Focus on continual improvement
- Celebrate the successes of others
5-Practice self-compassion
Writing is hard, scary work because our names are attached to it, and this makes us vulnerable. Give yourself some credit for being brave enough to do it, and remind yourself that all writers experience fear, challenges and setbacks along the way.
Also, make sure you look after yourself. Get enough rest, good food, exercise and social time with friends.
We don’t write in isolation. It’s integrated into our whole lives, and treating it this way makes the writing — and the writer — much stronger.
The path forward isn’t about eliminating guilt but about transforming it from a barrier into a catalyst for growth.
If you liked this post, you’ll also like How to deal with perfectionism in editing.
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Need some help developing a better, more sustainable writing or editing routine? Learn about my three-month accountability program called Get It Done. There is turn-over each month, and priority will go to those who have applied first. You can go directly to the application form and you’ll hear back from me within 24 hours.
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My video podcast last week addressed how to use your memory for memoir. You can watch the video or read the transcript, and you can also subscribe to my YouTube channel.
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How do you deal with perfectionism in writing? We can all learn from each other, so please, share your thoughts with my readers and me in the comments section, below. If you comment on today’s post (or any others) by Jan. 31/25, I’ll put you in a draw for a digital copy of my first book, 8 1/2 Steps to Writing Faster, Better. To enter, please scroll down to the “comments,” directly underneath the “related posts” links, below. You don’t have to join Disqus to post! Read my tutorial to learn how to post as a guest. (It’s easy!)