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Does writing ramp up your stress and cause you to blow the occasional gasket? Here’s how to become a calmer person…
I’m usually a calm person, but I’ll never forget the time a crisis threatened to obliterate my composure.
It occurred when I had a busy, C-suite job at a newspaper company, and I’d agreed to produce a one-time magazine for a group of my journalistic friends. (Because apparently, I didn’t have enough on my plate.)
Then, two days before the magazine was due, the largest advertiser cancelled their ad.
I felt my chest tighten, a flush descend on my face and my stomach tie itself into a painful knot. Without the money from the ad, we couldn’t pay for the magazine. And the buck stopped with me.
I told myself, “Daphne, don’t panic. You have 48 hours. You can deal with this.” I remember doing some breathing exercises as well.
Then, I sat down with my address book and contacted everyone I knew who could afford an expensive ad. And I found someone in less than four hours.
A miracle? Perhaps. But it was only possible because I could force myself to remain calm.
Why writers need their chill
Writers must remain calm amid unruly pressures. There are deadlines. Rejection. Criticism. Creative blocks. Isolation. For some, there is the added challenge of imposter syndrome.
If you struggle with these issues, it might help you to know that calmness isn’t about eliminating stress. It’s about changing your relationship with it. Think of stress as that annoying roommate you can’t evict — you just need to set better boundaries.
Here are five steps you can take:
1-Create rituals that signal safety
Consistent routines keep our nervous systems steady. For writers, this can be pre-writing rituals that calm the mind before creative work.
For example, you might write in the same place every time, have a specific hot or cold drink before writing or do some stretches or meditation.
These exercises train your brain to shift into a calmer state.
2-Never do more than one thing at a time
Schedule time for deep work sessions — without email, social media or even research. When you write, write. Don’t do anything else. (That Wikipedia rabbit hole about medieval sheep farming will still be there later.)
The Pomodoro technique, which requires you to focus on one task for 25 minutes, is extremely useful for many writers. I move from one Pomodoro to the next every day, and it’s more than doubled my productivity.
Here’s the big paradox: Doing less at once helps you accomplish more with greater calm.
3-Reframe your self-talk
Our internal narratives can create or reduce stress. Choose wisely!
If you say:
- I’m a fraud
- I’ll never finish this
- That other author is so much better than me
you’ll only increase your stress.
Instead, switch to non-catastrophizing language:
- I’m still learning — and that’s okay
- This draft might take time, but I’ll get there
- This draft needs work
Compassionate self-talk is a skill, not a self-indulgence. Replace your inner critic with an inner mentor. (Or at the very least, replace your inner Simon Cowell with your inner Mr. Rogers.)
4-Build in physical practices
A mind-body connection is central to managing stress and remaining calm. Try:
- Box breathing
- Five-minute stretch breaks
- Walks around the block
- Progressive muscle relaxation
Writing is cognitively demanding, so take movement breaks. They help prevent the buildup of stress hormones in your body.
5-Manage your information diet
The news is usually upsetting. So why do we keep reading it? Why do we scroll endlessly through social media when we know it’s going to make us feel rotten?
Establish boundaries for yourself. Set specific times for social media, and after that, turn off notifications. Unfollow accounts that trigger comparison or anxiety.
Protect your creative input as carefully as you manage your output. Your brain should not be a dumpster for every hot take on the internet.
Becoming calmer is a practice, not a destination
But if the tips I’ve just described seem too silly or onerous, I have one last piece of advice.
Develop the habit of observing the physical reactions you experience. Is your heart racing? Is your breath shallow? Are you sweating? These symptoms signal an emotion — perhaps anger, shame or fear. And they can fuel the emotion indefinitely.
But you can’t force unpleasant emotions away.
Many people think that observing the emotion instead of fighting it will only make it even more powerful. But, in fact, the opposite is true. If you just quietly observe, the peak of the emotion will come and go relatively quickly.
The problem almost always comes from fighting the emotion.
Your nervous system affects your creativity and your productivity. A calmer you will write better and more happily.
Remember: You deserve peace as much as you deserve any other feeling.
If you liked this post, you’ll also like How to calm your anxiety so you can write again.
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My video podcast last week addressed how to stop recording interviews. You can watch the video or read the transcript, and you can also subscribe to my YouTube channel.
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Do you have ideas for how to become a calmer person? We can all learn from each other, so please, share your thoughts with my readers and me in the comments section, below. If you comment on today’s post (or any others) by Nov. 30/25, I’ll put you in a draw for a digital copy of my first book, 8 1/2 Steps to Writing Faster, Better. To enter, please scroll down to the comments, directly underneath the related posts links, below. You don’t have to join Disqus to post! Read my tutorial to learn how to post as a guest. (It’s easy!)
