Reading time: About 3 minutes
Don’t let writer’s guilt prey on your nerves or get in your way! It’s a totally unnecessary emotion…
When I wrote my honours thesis in poli sci many decades ago, I was consumed with guilt.
I’d taken too long. I’d changed my topic once and wanted to change it again (the prof wouldn’t let me). My insights were facile. I should have done more research.
I felt frustrated, sad and angry all at the same time. Basically, I was a one-woman guilt factory, running three shifts a day. And it was enough to convince me I shouldn’t pursue grad school. When I ultimately ended up working at a newspaper as an editor, the experience also persuaded me that even though I was a highly skilled editor, I could never be a genuine writer.
What a disaster!
Later, I’d discover how common guilt about writing is. But it’s neither necessary nor helpful. You can learn to recognize it, question it and release it.
Here’s why writers are especially prone to guilt. First, there’s a myth in our society that artists must suffer. Preferably in a cold garret, wearing fingerless gloves and subsisting on black coffee and existential dread.
There’s also a blurry line between passion and obligation. And writers like nothing better than comparing themselves to other writers, who probably finished an entire chapter today. If not a whole book. If not a trilogy.
Finally, we seem hard-wired to embrace unrealistic productivity standards — we expect ourselves to write for a minimum of an hour at a time, ideally two, before it “counts.”
We also suffer from a panoply of different guilts — productivity guilt (“I should write more”), rest guilt (“I shouldn’t be taking a break right now”) and ambition guilt (“I’m selfish for taking my writing so seriously”). The guilt feels moral. But, in fact, it’s often just unexamined conditioning.
And here’s how it hurts your writing: It creates a spiral of shame. It blocks creativity and spontaneity. It turns writing from joy into punishment. Nobody does their best work while mentally flogging themselves. Nobody.
Here are seven strategies that will help you break free from writer’s guilt.
1-Redefine productivity
Instead of focusing on quality, focus on process. All writing counts, and the more you do, the better, quality be damned.
Also remind yourself there are many distinct steps in the writing process, and they all count. These steps include:
- Thinking
- Reading
- Planning
- Editing
- Researching
2-Set realistic, personalized goals
It’s your writing life — no one else’s — so declare goals that suit you. And make them process goals rather than output ones.
This means you mainly track time spent. And start small. As little as one to five minutes is A-OK. Seriously. Five minutes. That’s less time than it takes to scroll Instagram, which is, let’s face it, just guilt in a prettier font.
3-Separate your worth from your output
New writers often like to equate their worth with their word count. But you are not your word count. Instead, you’re a person who’s trying to build a sustainable writing habit.
The enormous benefit of habits is that they’re easy to maintain and require no willpower. Which is great news because most of us spend our entire willpower budget before 11 a.m.
4-Build a sustainable routine
Consistency always beats perfection. And make it small to start. Showing up to write for five minutes a day, five days a week is infinitely better than showing up for 25 minutes once a week. Why? Because it keeps you connected with your project. It allows you to build a sense of momentum.
Also, never punish yourself if you fail to write. Instead, think of a way to move forward the next day, rather than dwelling on what you didn’t do.
5-Practice self-compassion
How would you treat your best friend if they struggled with writing and felt guilty about it? You wouldn’t yell at them or shame them. You’d talk to them with empathy and concern. Treat yourself exactly the same way.
And be especially careful about not calling yourself names. Instead, focus on the action. Say, “I forgot to write today.” Don’t say, “I’m a lazy writer.”
6-Acknowledge that life happens
We all deal with illness, family emergencies, challenging situations (like needing to move house or buy a new car) and burnout. Also, breaks are normal and necessary, as are holidays. Allow for these circumstances without blame.
7-Replace guilt with curiosity
Instead of asking yourself, “What’s wrong with me?”, ask: “What’s actually going on?”
Are you tired? Are you afraid? Do you need more structure or permission? Things are not necessarily your fault. Figure out what the actual issue is before going on a blaming expedition.
Think differently about your writing life
Guilt may create short bursts of activity, but it damages long-term sustainability.
I finished my thesis many years ago by sitting at my desk for three days straight, fueled by an ungodly amount of coffee and absolutely no sleep. But I paid a price for years afterward. My nervous system still hasn’t forgiven me.
If only I’d known that guilt-free writing is actually more productive writing. Writing requires steadiness, not self-punishment. You don’t build a body of work through shame.
Give yourself permission to:
- Write imperfectly
- Write slowly
- Take breaks
- Want more
Devotion to your craft does not require self-condemnation. It requires showing up, doing your best and being just a little bit kinder to yourself.
Something I’m loving right now…
The post you’ve just read also arrives in inboxes every Tuesday — and subscribers get something extra. Each week, I include a brief, subscriber-only bonus: a short paragraph featuring a practical tip about a tool, book, video, app or resource I’ve tested and loved. This bonus is never published on my website — only in the email. No fluff. No sales pitch. Just one smart recommendation to make your writing life easier. Subscribe to my newsletter to get next Tuesday’s love note.
*
My video podcast last week addressed why I think it’s a good idea to write every day. You can watch the video or read the transcript, and you can also subscribe to my YouTube channel.
*
How do you deal with writer’s guilt? We can all learn from each other, so please, share your thoughts with my readers and me in the comments section, below. If you comment on today’s post (or any others) by March 31/26, I’ll put you in a draw for a digital copy of my first book, 8 1/2 Steps to Writing Faster, Better. To enter, please scroll down to the comments, directly underneath the related posts links, below. You don’t have to join Disqus to post! Read my tutorial to learn how to post as a guest. (It’s easy!)
