Reading time: About 3 minutes
Do you feel that perfectionism is killing your writing? Here are some simple actions that will help liberate you…
My mother often gave me the chore of dusting our living room when I was a six-year-old. And when it came to dealing with the bookshelves lining that space, I remember earnestly negotiating with her for the right to remove all the dust jackets from the books because I thought they looked too messy.
My mother sensibly refused because, as she pointed out, they protected the books. Also, she probably didn’t want to spend her Saturday reassembling a miniature library.
But I recognize now this desire for neatness was a sign of my budding perfectionism. A condition that, unlike my six-year-old self, has yet to be fully dusted away.
Perhaps this sounds familiar to you, too?
You stare at your computer screen and endlessly revise your first sentence. Then you revise it again. And again. You’ve been working for 45 minutes, and you have exactly one sentence, which, let’s be honest, wasn’t even that bad the first time.
Sure, maybe you haven’t done enough research. Maybe you need to think more deeply about the topic. Maybe you’re worried about being misunderstood.
But the real culprit? Perfectionism. You can’t bear to be second-rate. Your name is going to be attached to this piece of writing, and, dammit, it had better be good.
The perfectionism trap that’s keeping you stuck
Perfectionism manifests itself in writers in all sorts of paralyzing ways. It’s like a tethered bird — the idea wants to fly, but it’s held back by restraints. Or like a dog on a leash who desperately wants to chase that squirrel but keeps getting yanked away. Common behaviours of perfectionistic writers include:
- Over-researching instead of drafting (because if you never start writing, you can never write badly)
- Constantly revising early pages (page one, draft 47 and counting)
- Over editing (Is it “however” or “but”? Let me spend an hour deciding.)
- Delaying sharing or submitting work (It’s not quite ready. It’s never quite ready.)
Now, perfectionism usually wears a disguise of “high standards,” which sounds so much more professional than “crippling fear of judgment.” But understand these standards are usually just an excuse. And while perfectionism bedevils many writers — even successful and accomplished ones — it carries some heavy costs.
First, there are the creative costs: Your writing projects lose momentum, and no matter what they may be — a book? an essay? a letter? — they end up stalled like cars in a traffic jam on a bridge, going absolutely nowhere.
Next, are the emotional costs: When you’re unable to write, you start to suffer from anxiety, self-doubt and an erosion of your confidence. Your inner critic throws a party, and everyone’s invited except you.
Finally, come the professional costs: You miss deadlines, which makes your boss cranky with you (and may short-circuit a promotion down the road), or, if you’re a freelancer, has a devastating impact on your income.
Don’t let this happen to you! Here are five ways you can tame the persnickety perfectionist living rent-free in your head.
How to write without wanting to delete
1-Understand that first drafts are supposed to be terrible
In fact, that’s their job. Their entire purpose in life is to exist, not to dazzle. You can’t edit a blank page. And writing something — even something terrible — will give you raw material you can edit later. Keep reminding yourself that perfectionism kills creativity and experimentation.
In her book, Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott advocates what she calls “a sh*tty first draft.” I echo the same sentiment in my book Your Happy First Draft, where I argue the many benefits of the crappy first draft. Embrace the crap. Love the crap. The crap will set you free.
2-Set time-based goals rather than quality-based goals
Writers sometimes get themselves into knots by demanding 500 or a thousand words a day. And, typically, they think those words must all be perfect, or they won’t count. Stop doing that to yourself! Instead, promise yourself you’ll write for a reasonable amount of time. Say, 30 minutes, or even just 15. Or even just five. And give yourself permission to write utter drivel. Nobody’s watching. Nobody’s grading this.
3-Separate drafting from editing
The real work of writing comes when you start to edit, but never do this on the same day you’re writing. Trying to write and edit at the same time is a recipe for disaster. Instead, wear different hats on different days. (And I’m more inclined to say different hats on different weeks because, when deadlines permit, it’s a really good idea to take a long break between writing and editing, so you can gain better perspective on your work.)
4-Share imperfect work with trusted readers
While you won’t want to see your imperfect work published, what about training yourself to share it with trusted readers? This could include family, friends, close colleagues, your cat (okay, maybe not your cat, but you get the idea). The more you work to normalize imperfection, the happier you will be. And the sooner you’ll realize that other people don’t scrutinize your work with the same electron microscope you do.
5-Remember that “done” is better than perfect
This is the mantra. Write it on a sticky note. Tattoo it on your forearm if you have to. Because a finished, imperfect piece of writing can actually help people, inspire them or make them laugh. A perfect piece that exists only in your head helps exactly no one.
Perfect is the enemy of published
Something about the word “perfection” sounds so bright and shiny that many of us have a hard time understanding it’s not the least bit desirable. In fact, perfectionism is a creative block, not a virtue. It’s procrastination wearing a fancy suit.
Your voice matters far more than flawless prose. Write badly today so you can revise brilliantly tomorrow.
If you liked this post, you’ll also like How to deal with perfectionism in writing (video).
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My video podcast last week described how to narrow the focus for your blog. You can watch the video or read the transcript, and you can also subscribe to my YouTube channel.
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If perfectionism is killing your writing, how do you deal with it? We can all learn from each other, so please, share your thoughts with my readers and me in the comments section, below. And congratulations to Mubarak Alli, the winner of this month’s book prize, for a comment on my Jan. 20/26 blog post about typing vs. writing by hand. (Please send me your email address, Mubarak.) If you comment on today’s post (or any others) by Feb. 28/26, I’ll put you in a draw for a digital copy of my first book, 8 1/2 Steps to Writing Faster, Better. To enter, please scroll down to the comments, directly underneath the “related posts” links, below. You don’t have to join Disqus to post! Read my tutorial to learn how to post as a guest. (It’s easy!)
