UBC rocks — but not in a good way

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What do millennials really want? I can tell you they’re not interested in rocks…

My son graduated from the University of BC this week. It was thrilling to see him cross the stage and accept his diploma (B. Mus.) — all the more so because he is dyslexic. For him, getting in to university was perhaps even more difficult than getting out of it.

Otherwise, I found the ceremony a bit disappointing. There was no honorary degree awarded and the speeches by the chancellor and the president were, frankly, boring. Given that both these officials have to give the same speech more than 24 times — some 13,000 students are graduating and the theatre seats only 1,200 people (including parents) — I’m astonished that they don’t hire professional speechwriters. Or, at least hire better ones.

The president had one interesting point in her speech — she talked about the Great Trek,  a demonstration held in 1922 aimed at persuading the government to build a better campus. In that year, nearly 1,200 post Second World War students — buoyed by a marching band — gathered in downtown Vancouver and made their way to the new site for the university many miles away. The pilgrimage ended with the dedication of a cairn that still stands on campus. And, into it, the marchers all threw stones.

It’s a true story and a good one. But when the president announced that the university had a small gift for each of the 2016 grads I immediately guessed the gift was a rock. Sadly, I was right. What student wants to receive a rock, even an engraved one (pictured above)?

Then I started wondering how much those rocks had cost. I have a source who told me they were acquired in China, which certainly makes them cheaper but not less environmentally irresponsible. Polishing, engraving and shipping some 13,000 rocks costs money and, even worse, carries a considerable environmental weight as well. What millennial wants to be responsible for that?

My son gave his rock to me and I got this column out of it. But that’s about the only thing it’s been good for. You’d think a university would have a better way of saying goodbye to its young grads.

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